


The Young Hero

by FroYoFroggy



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Seeing Nile die was harder on Alex than he let on, post Scorpia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:00:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25829320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FroYoFroggy/pseuds/FroYoFroggy
Summary: Jack helps Alex through the bad memories that Nile's death brings up.
Relationships: None
Kudos: 16





	The Young Hero

Jack sat at the table listening at the tv as reporters commented on the destruction and violence at the old church. She had already listened to the story twice, but she couldn't find it in herself to move from the table. Absently staring at the empty chair next to her, and she knew without a doubt that Alex was some how involved in this mess. 

Jack was not nieve. She has heard the near silent gasps of terror during the nights when Alex's missions caught up to him in his sleep. She has seen the bruises he tried so carefully to hide. She has seen the careful way he takes in his surroundings as he enters a room. Jack has made sure to greet him after every mission, and every time she does, Alex Rider looks different. His eyes were different. She noticed right after the first mission that he would never be the same again.

Alex never gave her all the details and Jack never pried, but she saw the look in his eyes. The ones that had seen things that a fourteen year old had no business seeing. She hated MI6 for that. For using him when it was so obvious he was hurting just a little more after each mission. After the last one he had closed himself off more than usual and when she read an article about Damien Cray and nuclear weapons her heart hurt for Alex. She knew that most of the story was kept classified and locked away somewhere but she read enough to know that it was bad. Worse than Alex and MI6 were letting on. 

When Alex asked to go on a vacation, Jack was relieved. She took in a breath of fresh air and slept soundly knowing that Alex would be alright. And then she woke up a few days after to the news of an explosion in a lab just outside of Venice and her heart sank. When the agents came a week and a half later for clothes for Alex, they told her nothing and so a note would have to do. And now she was just waiting. Waiting as she had done since Ian died. A part of Jack hated Ian for forcing him into this world, but another part of her, the part that knew Alex since he was seven years old, knew that he would never stop now. And a third part of her, when it wasn't full of fear and worry, was proud. Proud that despite everything Alex had saved millions. She was proud that he was able to get up each day and with a large dose of sarcasm, go about his day stronger than ever. 

When it was just starting to get dark outside, Jack heard the front door open and watched as Alex dragged himself through the doorway. In an instant she was up and catching him as he all but fell into her arms. She had seen him exhausted after missions, but never like this. He always tried to act strong for her so he wasn't worrying her even more. Jack knew that, but tonight he wasn't even trying to hide his exhaustion. After a few minutes she walked him to the couch where she saw the burns and bruises. 

"I'm going to go get the first aid kit, ok?" Jack waited a moment and watched as Alex just stared at his hands. "Alex?" with that, Alex looked up at her, but not before he jumped. It was so small most would miss it, but Jack saw it. 

"Sorry, what did you say, Jack?" 

"I'm just going to get the first aid kid, I'll be right back." She replied and Alex just nodded.

As Jack rummaged through the kitchen looking for the medical supplies she thought of the look in his eyes. The same thing she always noticed, but this time they were darker. Colder. Sharper in a way that broke her heart. Something had changed and she could only hope it wasn't forever.

As she was making her way back, arms full of bandages and burn cream, she heard something that made her stop. It was the sound of Alex in the bathroom retching. She quickly made her way to the bathroom to find him hunched over the toilet, heaving. Jack just sat down and put one hand on his back and with her other hand she pushed the sweaty locks of hair out of his eyes. After a while, he finally dragged himself up, and after wiping his mouth, he collapsed against the cold tile of the wall.

With all of the shakiness of a dying man, he breathed out, "I killed him." 

Jack stilled. "Alex? What do you mean?" 

Alex just stared in front of him, not looking at anything in particular and quietly spoke, almost as if Jack wasn't even there. "I've killed before." The boy confessed. "I never meant to. The first time it happened was that first mission.

"There were two men chasing me with guns on four wheelers and I led one of them into an electric fence, and the other into a wire. Both died instantly and I ran. But before I finished the mission, I was caught and put into a tank with a man o' war jellyfish."

Jack was pale but he continued as the words he had tried so carefully to keep from her escaped from his mouth.

"I escaped, but when I did, Nadia Vole the woman who wanted me dead, fell in and she was killed." "I was in a panic and I was so full of adrenaline I didn't even think, I just finished the mission and MI6 was just glad that a dangerous criminal was dead." Then I went to point Blanc and when I escaped I was chased by two men on snow mobiles with guns and I led then into an oncoming train and they died instantly while I got away. When I went back in I was cornered by a man and the SAS soldier with me was injured so I struck him. I hit his nose and it was hard enough to knock him out. I didn't find out it killed him until later." after the mission a clone came after me and I pushed him off the roof into a fire." He said almost emotionless.

"Oh Alex" Jack finally let out with worry. Alex didn't seem to hear her in his daze and kept going. 

"When I was sent to skeleton key, my two partners were killed and when I got back to the man who went with us to help with our diving gear, it took me a few minutes to realized that he had been shot and killed. I was captured and almost killed but I got lucky I guess." I used a magnet to kill a man who was trying to set off the nukes in Russia. that ones a long story. Then, I saw a man shoot himself in the head. He was standing right in front of me." All the words tumbling from the young spy's mouth after keeping it in for so long. 

With that, Jack grabbed his hand and ignoring the small flinch she said, "None of that was your fault. You were doing what you had to in order to survive, Alex." 

"I know" he whispered, "That's what got me through everything and all the nightmares that came after."

"My next mission with Damien Cray was hard. Up until this one it was the worst. I saw a lot of people die and I didn't do anything. I couldn't really but that didn't make much of a difference, you know?" One of them was a man who saved my life previously. He was shot and killed in front of me and I tried to stop the bleeding, but he died and left me with his blood on my hands and advice to go to Venice." 

"Venice? Is that why you went?" Jack asked, connecting the dots. 

"Yeah. I almost drowned early on, was recruited into a terrorist organization called SCORPIA, trained as an assassin at their school of murder, and then was ordered on an assignment to kill Mrs. Jones. The head of MI6 special operations. I went and I shot the gun, but she was behind bulletproof glass and I didn't realize. I shot, but I adjusted my aim at the last moment. It would have gone over her shoulder. But Jack" his voice broke. "I still fired the gun at her." Jack just held onto his hand and arm as he calmed his breathing before continuing.

"After that I was sent back to SCORPIA undercover to get information on an attack they had planned. The base was that church. I sent a signal that brought the SAS there and they fought an all out war it seemed. A lot of people died. I was hanging off a hot air balloon 1000 feet in the air fighting an assassin and trying to take down the balloon in order to stop the attack." He said it like he was telling a bad joke.

With that Jack tightened her grip on his hand, but let him keep going knowing that he's been holding everything in for a long time and needing to know what changed today.

"The assassin was named Nile. He is-was one of their best. He wasn't really my friend when I was at Malagosto, but he was friendly to me and looked out for me. He was just following orders, but a part of me genuinely like him once I got past the whole murder thing." He huffed. 

"He was afraid of heights. That's the only reason he missed when he threw his knife at me. I was able to grab it and I cut the propane tube so that it would spray him. He caught on fire and fell." Alex shuddered at the memory and took a breath to keep the nausea at bay. "The debris killed the woman in charge of the operation." 

For a few minutes Alex went quiet. He glanced at Jack, took a deep breath, and spoke again, softer than before.

"All the other times that I've killed they were more like accidents and it saved my life. B-But when I killed Nile. I-I- I knew him Jack. I knew him and I cut the tube knowing exactly what would happen and exactly what he was terrified of." He was nice to me at the school, and I killed him on purpose Jack."

"I've killed so many people and I've watched so many people die and it makes me so guilty but part of me is glad that they've died because this way they can't hurt anymore people. But it makes me hate myself Jack. How could I have killed without hesitation? And I felt glad, relieved even. What does that make me?" 

At this point Alex had tears streaming down his face and he whispered, "I'm just like them, Jack"

Jack immediately moved so she was sitting in front of him and she pulled him to her. As she hugged the crying boy she said firmly, "No Alex. Listen to me right now. You did what you did to survive. You saved millions of people. Never forget that. You did those things to survive and to save lives. They did them for money or because they just wanted to. Did you want to kill Nile?"

"No" Alex breathed into her collarbone. "No" He clutched her shoulders.

"You are nothing like them Alex. You are a hero. They made their choices and they knew what could happen. You are a hero and I am so proud of you, Alex. And you know what? I'm glad those people are dead too." He stilled. "Because that means YOU are alive." You have always done the right thing, always know that, Alex." He finally relaxed in her arms. "I will always be here for you Alex. I am not going to leave your side. No matter what. I can help you, okay? Don't feel like you need to keep all this bottled up, let me help you."

"Thank you." Replied the young hero.

And later that night just before Alex fell asleep, Jack looked into the young boy's eyes and they were not quite as haunted.

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this is something I wrote really quickly and posted before I even read through it so if it sucks, my bad.


End file.
